India Preparation - The Map

Twenty four days and counting. The excitement builds for both me and the German population. The bhajis, samosas and curries are tickling my toes and the prospect of having a city of devotees again no doubt tickles the city elders' toes in Hamburg town hall. Once they rid themselves of one Scottish critic, Hamburg will once again be a city where every citizen believes, in all seriousness, that it's the most beautiful city in the world...

Don't get me wrong, it's a nice city. But comparing Hamburg harbour with Sydney harbour leaves the former looking like Susan Boyle chewing on a wasp. Der Schönste Stadt der Welt? If you say so...

Anyhow, with only twenty four days to go, I found another reason to stumble into a book shop. I wanted a map. A map that I could take out on trains and look worldly with. A map I could track the trip with. A map that could fit in my pocket, a pocket map you might say. What I bought was something which could easily paper the wall of a medium sized slum hut. Why? Because I'm a man...

Whilst perusing the Asian map section I couldn't find anything on India. The sales assistant clearly noticed my famous concentration/constipation face and enquired if I needed any advice/laxatives. I mumbled the words "map" and "India" and magically, she found one for me. It was admittedly right in front of me but I was so thankful that I didn't bother looking at it, went straight to the till and handed over the euro equivalent of 100 bhajis/8 beers.

The result is that I now have a map which makes me look wordly in a more conquering way, rather than the cool traveller I'd hoped for...